Day 6B

Felt better today.. well enough to go to Sheboygan for a few hours and turn in cans, go to the library, etc.  Was a bit irregular again but didnt need senokot (or Imodium at all this time yet) to correct the situation.  Dry mouth seems under control so far but still only feel 85% on energy and notice signs of a possible sinus infection esp on the left side.

This has been quite a journey and its only about 1/4 over (if that much).

Day 4B

Woke up thismorning having to “go” without the aid of senekot but feeling very weak. I hope I am not down too far on my white blood count already because if thats true I may not have any more pep than I do right now until after I get my labs done on the 7th.

Mouth not quite as dry as it was yesterday. Weakness lasted all day however and I’m back to the point where I will eat but no food sounds appealing to me.  Nose dry tonight again and again the area over my chemo port feels “stretched”.  Still losing hair!

Day 3B

3rd day after second chemo and woke up with a very dry mouth, overall upset GI system, some alteration of taste (but nothing tastes too weird yet), a very dry nose, more hair loss above the left ear, and a “tight” feeling over the chemo port site.   Might be getting the bladder infection back too.  Too soon to tell though with all this other crap going on.  The Senokot though eventually worked (gently) today so at least that’s a plus.

Got a call from my “breast buddy” tonight…the lady featured in the paper and talked about at the last support meeting as always being on the go…good “buddy” to have.  Have her name and phone numbers in my calander now so we can chat again when it gets closer to my surgery time.  Something I am definitely NOT looking forward to.

Flushing Again

Right on cue….day 2 like last time is flushing from the chest up. Dry mouth today and will probably need to take a senokot tomorrow night. 

Seem to have a bit more energy today than I did after the first chemo…maybe because my initial white count was lower last time than it is now (it was 9.0 yesterday) so I did a load of laundry and cleaned the bathrooms.

A hair patch above my left ear is gone now and above the right ear is very thin.  I imagine my moving about at night is wearing my hair away.

2nd chemo round today

That has to have been the slowest three weeks of my life and today I went for round two after meeting with Dr. Haid.

I guess I have two very swollen lymph nodes under my left armpit as well as a long almond shaped tumor in the left breast. He said the dreaded word mastectomy today so I am definitely going for a bilateral mast as I told him this is one experience I would much rather not repeat. Oh I am her2neu negative which is supposed to be a good thing. I guess that means less chance of recurrance or spreading to my brain…yikes.

Some coughing here tonight so I am a bit nervous about that. Dry cough but wetting the throat does seem to help at least temporarily.  Also some minor difficulty breathing and tiredness.

Ate sardines hoping the natural fish oil will act as a laxative and now I have just a weird feeling so that might have been a bad idea. 

Day 22

Not sure what the deal was today but after Barb I went to the library and then to the 25th st market….sweating like a pig and weak as a kitten, esp at the library and the store.  Other than that no real symptoms of anything today.

Tomorrow is the day to get all those last minute chores done and it another Roddy & Fish day.

Day 21

I think they are right, just about the time you feel pretty good its time for another round of poison. I felt good today. Good enough to go thrifting and to Evans.  Just some minor knee pain tonight.

Saw an Oprah episode today about a lady who had a stroke and took 9 yrs to recover. Holy shit…9 yrs!  Learned a bit of trivia though….left side of brain controls memories of the past, language, etc and right brain is creative stuff like playing guitar, poetry and feelings.  Interesting!

There seems to be a medical cop out…… its “you smoke” or “you smoked” or “you’re too fat” or, in the case of terminal illnesses “everybody is different”.  There are no guarentees they say! Hell, its a wonder anyone knows how to treat anything. 

Its not that I am not grateful, I am. Its just that I like to know whats coming. Well that and under normal circumstances almost no one is allowed in my personal space.  Now suddenly damn near every tom, dick and harry is poking, prodding or doing something to my body and usually its something that doesnt feel too pleasant. 

Barb says to be proactive….I tried that once, back in 1999 at Holy Family Hospital and pretty much got ignored. That is an experience I will never ever forget as long as I live.

Speaking of that, its a bit hard to be cheery when folks are dying of the same thing you have.  In fact I have been anything BUT cheery lately. In fact I have been downright PISSED. I’m pissed at everyone and everything.  I dont know where this comes from, if its the chemo or repressed stuff surfacing or what but its intense and its very real.

I am probably allergic to dust mites because all I did in Evans today was sniff and sneeze.  Now thats a store that has alot of dust in it. I dont think they can even clean the floor in there much less dust the shelves. I think they clean the bathrooms once a week and thats about it.

Day 20

Since I have been on this sulfa antibiotic my stomach feels kinda queesy and I seem to be having more trouble breathing not to the point of panicing yet but I’m getting concerned.

I also notice I feel angry all the time again though that happened to me before I was DX’d with the cancer.

Day 17

Took care of my hamsters cage (with mask and gloves of course) and fish bowls today. Bone pain much much better today but I think a problem is water on my knees, esp my left knee so I dont know if this is a side effect of something or what.  Hard to know what is what with this treatment stuff.

I do have typical fall and spring allergies which seem to be kicking in the last couple of days here as well.  And today the area of the chemo port kind of smarts.

I have not had 100% return of my energy yet and if this is indeed cumulative fatigue I am concerned about my lung power and just how “useless” physically I will become around here.  Have to have energy at least once every 6 days to take care of the hamster cage, fish and a few other weekly pet related chores.

Day 16

White count JUMPED like nuts..well explains why my spine felt like a corkscrew had been driven into it and yet, in spite of an elevated white count, I have a bladder infection.  Now on sulfa antibiotics. Also they checked my left leg for bloodcots and thank goodness there I am in the clear.

Cindy, the nurse practitioner, I THINK said that I had an allergic reaction to the Neulasta and that Dr Haid may not make me get any more of those shots…..If they are going to put me practically in a wheelchair each time I dont want them. Besides I have talked myself into the fact that I will lose a breast (or two) but nothing else long term.

I remember when I quit smoking I would notice in nearly every show or movie I watched that people lit up.  Now I get chills when I see a tv character talk about having cancer or being treated for cancer. 

Oh and we somehow managed to mow the lawn between us but I didnt do the brunt of the work by any means today. Hips and knees hurt after lawn mowing today, didnt feel pain before that. DANG! Oh well, thats the last lawn mowing I do this year.